Posts Tagged ‘wife’

My wife is one of the least sneaky people I know. When the baby is sleeping, she will just walk down the stairs like normal, not bothering to skip the second step (which is squeaky) or stepping to the inside of the 4th one (also squeaky). If she’s going down to the basement to do laundry, she will just wrench the door open, not pull up first, so that it opens quietly. So I find it very frustrating when I am trying to be quiet and the baby still wakes up if I step on a board wrong, but will sleep quietly with her banging around somewhere.

There are certain phrases that really irk me. Sometimes they really irk my wife, so If I am not also irked to the same degree…she becomes irked with me too. So, there are some phrases that irk me. One of the worst offenders is: Whole nother. As in: “We made it down the mountain in one piece, but what happened at the campsite is a whole nother story!” This is wrong. Period. Full stop.

“But it’s colloquial!” You’ll say. No. It’s colstupidal is what it is. Why not just say:  “We made it down the mountain in one piece, but what happened at the campsite is a another whole story!” Or just say, “another story” and forget the whole.

I can’t say why this gets to me so much, but it does. I’ll have more grammer/ phrase rants soon. What are some of yours?

My wife is hot. I can even prove it. Yesterday was the first day of school for many people. She teaches 7th grade English. At the beginning of one of her classes, two boys walked in and stopped on the threshold.

“Is this English?” they asked.

“Yes.” my wife replied.

“SWEET!” they both exclaimed, grinning at each other.

I asked her more about the type of student that would be so excited that they had found their English class.

“Did they look ‘bookish’, or excited to learn about adverbs?”

“No, they were jocks. This isn’t their first time taking 7th grade English either. They both failed last year.”

There it is! Clear evidence that she is hot! What class could engender such enthusiastic feelings in sports playing repeat 7th graders? One that is taught by my wife…who is hot.

Class dismissed.

My knife display

Posted: February 22, 2009 in Art, baby, Home, ninja, Sword
Tags: , , , , ,

img_17111So I finally put up my knives that have been locked in a foot locker since I’ve been married. I don’t know why. I just got in a mood, and my wife was out of the house : )  The top one is the Kraken, immediately below that is the Egyptian one, and then the Leviathan is on the bottom. I forget what the two on the left side are called. We have a new-ish baby so I had to put them somewhere up high. They are mounted on the wall above the window in the stairwell. I can almost reach the bottom one on my tippee toes so I think they’re baby proof. I also jumped up and down and slammed the wall a few times to see if any of them would fall down, but they’re solid.

I think that the possessions you own ought to be either functional, beautiful, or both. These may not be “functional” per se. ( I couldn’t imagine chopping an onion with them) But I think they have a certain beauty to them.