Musings from a modern Father:

Posted: August 23, 2017 in Uncategorized

As I write this, sitting on my porch enjoying the breeze and gazing at the community garden that my wife and I have worked so hard on, my two sons are shooting me relentlessly with nerf guns. My wife hates guns, and yet they remain. Oh, there are no bullets. They got them at a garage sale and the darts weren’t included. They just click the triggers. We tell them it not OK to shoot people. They’re sniping me right now. Ugh. Boyhood abides. Ok now I’m teaching the nine year old how to juggle. And now we’ve had a fight about that too. Yup. That’s my life.

I work hard to provide for my family. I switched jobs a year ago because I was working a 2nd shift factory job and it was killing our family. I saw my kids 40 minutes a day. Now I work days and it’s so much better. I get to do projects with them, take them to the park, go on hikes, and read to them every night. We turn off all the lights and I put on a Christmas laser decoration that turns the ceiling into swirling green faeries. I use a red headlamp, and switch on a chill ambient station on Spotify, played low.

But it’s not perfect. We can only strive for that bliss. Where the kids don’t fight and the house is spotless. But that’s not reality. Reality is playdoh crumbs on the floor and kids having meltdowns because you don’t agree with their idea to have a pizza making contest with random ingredients. You just want to make the pizza you like and eat it already, not argue about scoring systems and whether or not olives should be included because only one person likes them. Everyone is HANGRY. JUST MAKE WHAT YOU WANT AND EAT IT!

So after our last blowup, my awesome wife kicked both me and my son out of the house, threatening heart attack, and told us to settle our differences and find a way to live with eachother until he turns 18. So I took him up to the local highschool track and we ran laps. After each lap, we talked about what happened, and how he could be a better son, and I could be a better dad. Then we went for a hike in a beautiful park and I Ied him in some journaling on the same topic. We agreed to give eachother an out with a secret code word. If either of us say it, we need to take a step back and take some deep breaths.

This sounds great in theory, but whether or not it works in practice? Who knows? But for now, the house is peaceful again.

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