Burger King to nation: “Stay fat, America.”

Posted: September 22, 2009 in bicycle, Food, Money/ wealth, Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

In a time when most fast food chains are offering healthier options on their menus, Burger King sends a different message. “Stay Fat America.”

I was out doing errands today. My wife has our only car so I was on my bike. It was lunchtime and I was mightily hungry from riding five miles to the bank, post office, etc. So I thought I would grab a quick Whopper Jr. from the drive through. Or as they so charmingly call it, the drive-thru. The car ahead of me pulled ahead so I pulled up and waited. A squawky intercom voice told me to hang on. Then they told me to move to the second window. “But I  haven’t ordered yet.” I replied. “Move up to the second window.” They repeated. Once there, a helpful cashier leaned out and yelled that they can’t serve people on bikes. I would have to come inside to order. “Why?” I asked, my money flapping in the wind, just waiting to be given away. “BK policy” she yelled. At this point, fearing I might do something stupid, I just said “Fine” and rode off in a huff.

When I spoke with the manager of this particular “restaurant” later that day over the phone, he said that the only reason they can’t serve bikes is because of insurance. I asked about serving drivers whose cars aren’t insured. He said that was between them and the state. When I asked him about people who just walk through the drive through, his response was, “coupons.” Clearly the type of manager I would want to have serving me food. I’m glad I ended up not eating there.

Corporate Headquarters assured me that bikes can’t be used in the drive through because of safety concerns but said nothing of insurance. I asked if there had been any previous accidents where a car had hit a cyclist and she denied any such occurrences. If I was on a motorcycle though, it would have been fine. So a machine that goes 200 mph and kills 5,154 people every year is much safer than a bicycle that can get up to 30 mph in the city and kills 698 people a year. Hmm. Especially the high-speed lane of the Burger King Drive-Thru. Gosh, I think I got up to 4 mph going around that corner. I’m such a daredevil.

Apparently Burger King is fine promoting riding bikes in video games though, but not real life. God forbid people should want to get in shape. Stay off that bike America. Stay in your car instead.

So I’m asking you to boycott Burger King and take your money elsewhere. Will you join me? What do you think?

  1. Amelia says:

    Well. That’s horrific. I vote that instead of straight vetoing we find as many means of transport as possible and try taking them through the drive “thru”. This includes but is not limited to: shetland ponies, dune buggies, small rowing vessels, and these:

    … which are not entirely walking and not entirely biking. A dilemma!

  2. alpinmack says:

    Yes…yes…excellent. We shall inundate the nation’s Burger Kings with all manner of transport. Dirigibles, yachts, tortoises, hovercraft, pachyderms, ATVs, Giant pieces of corporate sculpture, dump trucks, giant octopi, etc. Let’s see them try and give me a Whooper meal when they’re being squirted with ink from my giant octopus. Mwah ha ha ha HA!


  3. exuvia says:

    The really evil thing to do would be to turn vegetarian.

    Feel the cold shiver at Corporate Headquarters.

    The images of healthy bodies built on amino acids straight from the soil would haunt the CEO every sleeping night.

    That would teach them not to slight a hungry tweed jacket on a bike.

    Is this a gruesome revenge or not…

  4. alpinmack says:

    I am tempted to say so, but i just like meat too much. I am not a carnivore though. I probably have red meat twice a month or so. I have many friends who are vegetarian or vegan, and I can understand their reasons for choosing that lifestyle, whether it be for the health aspects, or animal rights. But for me, I am healthy enough to enjoy a steak every once in a while.

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