Here are some of my old costumes:
My Beautiful bellydancer
The baby is bamboo. Get it?
I have an elf that lives in my drawer at work. Every time I put my calculator back in the drawer, the elf sneaks up and pushes all sorts of random buttons so that the next time I take it out, the screen looks like this: M+92858753261. This is the only explanation I have for this phenomenon. What is your experience with office elves?
OUT WITH THE OLD IN WITH THE NEW
We got a new stove today. I mentioned I wanted to get a new one at work because I read that 60% of the total energy used per year in gas stoves is just having the pilot lights lit all the time. So this guy at work mentions that he happens to have a gas stove with electric ignition sitting in his garage that he wants to get rid of.
Now my problem is how to get it to my house because my little Suby won’t fit a stove in it. So I tell my uncle who has a Suburban and he says he’ll help me if he can get MY old stove because his is even worse than mine! So after much shuffling, we get the new one in and when I try to hook up the new hose to the old gas fitting, it’s too big. So I ran to the Depot and grabbed a new fitting and also my new favorite tool. A Milwaukee Sawzall! Yeehah! That thing is a beast. I needed it to cut my old furnace apart which is 400 lbs of steel. It cut like butter.
Your body mass index is a decent indicator of how healthy you are and what you ideal weight should be. It measures your height and weight and puts you on a sliding scale. One exception is that if you have a lot of muscle mass (like me) you may appear heavier or over-weight, even though you aren’t. Using the normal equation, I have a BMI of 24.5, but using a more accurate scale, my BMI is 18.2.
This will be stuck in your head all day. For all you Arrested Development fans out there, this one goes to G.O.B.
I’m still going strong, even though it has been pretty chilly the past few mornings. It was 32° this morning. Coming down off the hill is very cool. I’ve had to alter my clothing set-up a bit. I also switched helmets. I was using my nice bike helmet with all the vents, but that got too cold. So now I’ve got my snowboarding helmet. It has much smaller vents and even insulated ear flaps. Very nice. I seal my jacket at the wrists over my full finger gloves and also use a face shield.
This is a cool sit my friend showed me. It has up to date info on all terrorist and other incidents all over the world.
Funny story… We were hanging out at our friends house last night when Joe comes in and and says, “Hey what do you do if you think your car’s on fire?” ,grabs the fire extinguisher, and walks back outside. We all pile out and are greeted by noxious fumes. There is gray smoke pouring out from under his hood. He drove all the way home and said it was fine, but I guess something ignited it. We couldn’t see a flame though. He wants to call a mechanic friend but his wife says to call the Fire Dept. He finally says,
“OK what’s their number?” …
“but it’s not an emergency.”…
“Your CAR is on fire!”…
My wife as an aside…”This is how Darwin Awards start off.”
Once the FD gets there, they inspect the engine which is still smoking. Joe, the consummate salesman tries to sell his car to the firemen while they are putting out the fire. “For you, only $3,000.” Classic. In the end they found a mechanic’s rag shoved under the oil filter that had been smoldering. “Oh snap! Someones going to get free oil changes for life!”
Yay! today is the day my blog broke 1,000 views. Only after three months, that’s pretty cool considering how my old one at blogspot got 4 over two years. Thank you everyone for coming and checking out what I have to say. Come back often and invite a friend. Peace.
I don’t usually do this, but here is the newest scene I wrote for my novella. I kind of like it. Please leave feedback since this is a rough draft. And without further ado:
Treena turned away from her conversation with Sam and looked back down at the monitor showing their biometric feeds. Her lips were pale from her unconscious biting, and her hands were wringing at her sides. “How could they have gotten this so wrong? Again! Arrgghhh!” That was when she noticed Hunter’s feeds jump. “Oh God no!” she thought. His beta waves were jumping off the charts, but his theta waves were trying to keep up. They were torturing him! She hoped that he would remember to shut off his pain receptors but from what she was seeing, he wasn’t succeeding. Even she had trouble doing it in a quiet room with no distractions. His blood pressure was peaking again as another wave of pain swept through his body. She tried tapping into his visual feed but got an error message: 404: input path not found. She stared at the screen until the realization hit her. They tore out his eyes! “Oh Godhwgdhgf.” After a few moments, she emptied her stomach again, before backing up and staggering away from the com screen in tears.
A few minutes later, after she had cleaned herself up, she returned to see if there was any chance she could speak with him one last time. With what Sam had said about the gravity mine, she doubted there would be much left of Hunter anyway. She still had to try though; she demanded that of herself. There was no way she could stage a rescue now, but at least she could try and console him. With trepidation at what she might find, she reached out to Hunter with her Mesh.
“Graham, are you there? Hello. If you can hear me, let me know.”
“yfkyglugkj. Lhlhuf. nwheflium.”
“Oh, Graham. Come to me.”
“whalj. Whois? Treni?”
“Yes that’s it. You can do it! Follow my voice. Come on.”
“Tren, izthat yuu? Wher m I? I cnt see.”
“I know sweetie.” Treena shoved down her tears. Those BASTARDS stole your eyes! “You’re being very brave. Can you meet me in VR?”
Treena pumped up the bandwidth and prepared a special environment for their meeting. Something soothing that would bring him back to happier times. She was already waiting there for him as he materialized into the simulation. He was standing on a verdant green pasture. Behind him, a quiet farm house stood on a foundation of quarried red rocks. A pond rested in the middle distance with coy floating lazily near the surface, occasionally picking at flies that ventured too close. It was their house on the outskirts of the Galiana colony on Mars. Everything was perfect, except him.
His image… stuttered. Patches of gray and green circuitry flashed over his body and dribbled down his sides like blood after a battle. He sagged to one side and his limbs were different lengths. His feet melted into the grass, which crawled up to his knees like moss gone wild on far mountain stones. Treena choked down another sob. She shouldn’t have done this. He was already so far gone. She knew his brain was badly damaged and already running over capacity, trying to cope with the constant waves of pain. Hunter reached out and started to walk towards her. He lifted one leg but couldn’t get the other one to move. It stuck in the soil, unwilling to abandon its position as the last connection to this forgotten world. She rushed over to him and covered him in her arms. He rested his spoiled head on her shoulder and breathed a sigh of relief.
“I thogt nevr sea yoo agn. M sory. I dnt tll thm anytg.”
“Shhh shh, no. Don’t worry, you’re doing fine. I just wish it didn’t have to end like this. Remember when we lived here? It was perfect.” They both knew very well that it wasn’t. They met on their first and second tours respectively. When they were finished, they thought they would settle down. After a little over a year of playing house, they both realized they were kidding themselves, thinking they could start a family. That’s not who they were. They were warriors and had to be true to themselves. So they reenlisted and formed their own company, taking only the best people from each field. Those were the good times. Their golden years. Now, after nearly a century of fighting together, everything was in tatters. “I miss you.”
“Imiz yu two. I luvyu. Alws hve.”
“I love you too. I know I didn’t say it enough but…” Something tugged violently at his backbone, ripping him out of her arms; his surprised face boiling with exposed circuitry. He struggled against the force but was too weak to do anything except dig his fingers into the dirt. “No! They’re back-hacking your signal! It’s not fair! We haven’t had enough time yet! Graham!”
“im don luv. Kep th teem saf. I love you. Goodbye.” Hunter’s eyes flashed up at her, and for a single majestic moment, he was whole again. Then his image quickly decomposed into a pixilated mess that slowly sank into the ground.
“Noooo!” Even as the cry broke from her lips, she knew the signal had auto-aborted. Part of Sam’s security measures to keep their base safe from prying eyes. She burned with rage and sadness, torn between crying and blowing something to pieces. Instead, she got up, and walked quietly back to her quarters, keeping her eyes focused straight ahead, not seeing anything, or anyone.
Treena didn’t come out of her room for two weeks after that. Mizuki monitored Hunter’s feed until one day, it cut out altogether. After his blood pressure spiked one last time, there was a massive depressurization which only meant one thing. Greyson had decapitated him. Not only that, but according to the data, the huge pressure loss had been near instantaneous. She had only seen that once before, when a dock worker got stuck in a faulty airlock and the doors closed on his neck, severing his head neatly above the shoulders. The headless body floated away from the doors after the hard vacuum of space ripped all fluid and gas out of the body before freezing the tissues. Even the hard-as-nails Japanese ice-princess had cried when she saw what had happened to Hunter. She couldn’t bring herself to tell Treena for two days, but when she did, she felt a weight lift off her shoulders and jump over to the older women’s. She had expected some sort of reaction but got none. Lost inside herself, Treena was far away, wandering down roads she thought she had closed forever.
Anyone who knows me knows I love the outdoors. It is where I choose to play and where I can live life to the fullest. And, in no small part due to the Rescue Mission, it is where I find God.
I started going to Camp I’d Ra Ha Je (I’d Rather Have Jesus) back when I was six years old. From then on, I have always associated a love for the outdoors with a love for God. After all, you can’t fully appreciate a beautiful painting without some measure of respect for the creator of that work of art. Creation has always been one of my big reasons for belief as well. How can someone look at a magnificent sunset and not believe in God? Can you say purple mountain majesty? These are the Sawteeth Mountains in central Idaho this past summer. Part of God’s
“Inspiration” series of paintings. Bob Ross has nothin’ on The Lord of Creation. (more…)
I wanted to mention my car. While I work close to home and commute by bike, I still love to drive my Subaru WRX. These days, I have been trying to do many hyper-miling techniques to increase my MPG. However, having a turbo-charged sports car is not the most fuel efficient means of transportation. I also need to buy Premium Gas (91 octane or above) because of the turbo. When I bought it new, in 2003, that wasn’t an issue. Regular was $1.20 and Premium was $1.30. Now it’s a different story. Even though most of the time I try and save gas and coast in neutral, there are times when I treat myself and really let the turbo rip and press me back in the seat as I fly off the line, going from 0-60 in 5.4 seconds. Whooo hoooo! The first year I got my car, it came with a membership to the Sports car club of America which holds races all over the place. I entered into a few of them and won several. It was a blast.
I play penny whistle at church. I have a few different keys that I need for different songs so I just have to stick the other whistles in my pockets or on the ground when I’m not using them. When we were praying, I gently propped one of them on the guitar stand and it fell over and clattered against the others on the ground causing a ruckus. I thought, “All right, that’s it. I need to make some sort of holder.” So I drew it all up and my friend who works at a metal machining plant will fabricate it for me. It will be solid aluminum, but the materials will only be around $40. I don’t want to give away too much of the design because I think there could be a market for it and I could make some chop. It is totally different than the picture at the left and would be marketed to the performing musician rather than a display rack. I’m excited.
This is one of my favorite short stories I wrote back in ’98. Any student who struggles through math class will enjoy this. (more…)